Sam Is My Sister by Ashley Rhodes-Courter

Author:Ashley Rhodes-Courter
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Albert Whitman & Company
Published: 2021-01-15T00:00:00+00:00

“You called me your sister,” Sam said with a grin.

“Well, you are.” Evan nodded.

Evan knew that Sam was still the same Sam.

That night at bedtime, Evan, Sam, and Finn watched as the moon

rose and the stars sparkled through the clouds.

“What about going to the moon?” Finn whispered.

“Will you still want to come with us?” Evan asked.

“Princesses can go to the moon,” Sam whispered back.

“Yes, they can,” Evan said. “Zoom! Zoom! Family to the moon!”

This book is based on true experiences. Sam, Evan, and Finn (whose names have

been changed) are my three children. They consented to sharing our story and

were an integral part of the writing process.

My husband, Erick, and I served as foster parents for five years and have

cared for more than twenty-five children. Sam, who was assigned male at birth,

was placed in our home as a baby shortly before our son Evan was born. About

a year later we were able to adopt Sam, and not long afterward we discovered I

was pregnant with Finn.

Toddler Sam was drawn to princesses, purple, pink, and loved all things

sparkly. During pretend play, Sam would always choose to be “Mommy” or

“Sister.” We didn’t think much of this, as we believe kids should be free to explore

their imaginations and play with whatever toys they like. In preschool, Sam’s

preferences for books and toys traditionally associated with girls became more

consistent, insistent, and persistent than ever. Even Sam’s teachers felt this was

not a phase. By kindergarten, Sam was adamant about what she wanted to wear,

what she wanted to be called, and how she wanted to be seen in the world.

As gender variance is discussed more in mainstream culture, children are

finding their voices much sooner than in previous generations. One day, when we

read aloud a wonderful book about a young transgender girl, Sam’s face lit up.

“Mommy, that’s ME! I’m transgender!” This was a breakthrough moment. I had

never seen Sam so happy.

Being both a clinical social worker and passionate mother, I dove into research

and consulted many experts to find out how to best support Sam. Evan and Finn

didn’t fully understand why Sam wanted dresses and long hair—but they were

able to put their love for Sam first. When Sam was called “she” or “her” at home

or in public, she beamed. Her shift in mood and disposition was palpable and

undeniable to family and Sam’s teachers.

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